So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
