Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
