i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
