Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize