I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was like eating out sand paper
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
