I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
