Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
FUCK WHALES
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
