well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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