Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
True but thats because hes a fetus.
wanna go halves on a baby?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
