How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
worst night to have a conscience
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
