So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
