dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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