He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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