i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
