i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
