I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize