some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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