waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
