ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
