So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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