I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
