Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
