Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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