I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
