I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
