He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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