So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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