maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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