Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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