woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
