Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
