see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
