I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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