He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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