this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
