Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
