I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
