That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Girls should come with a carfax report
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
wow bdsm is so cute
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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