Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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