Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
