so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
