I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
