I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
