Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
