So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
