I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
