where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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