My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
