I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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