AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
