I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
