I'm drive I can fine osifer
I puked a lego.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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