Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
