East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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