My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I love you. Go after that dick
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