youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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