i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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