wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
