Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
